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Untitled VII

Kecewa.

The Last

Assalamualaikum wbt,

" We cry, we laugh, we share, we fight, we LOVE. 

But sometimes we just need to move on with our own life. 

It's time for us to let go what we had. 

You're still mean everything to me, 

but you're just not worth the fight anymore. " 

Selamat Kembali :)

Assalamualaikum wbt,

It's been a huge time since the last update. Well, ada lahh beberapa yang tanya. " 

Ohh why dah lama tak update blog ? Dah bersarang dahh blog and bla bla bla...." Well, sebenarnya bukan tak nak update, cuma teramat busy, cehhh semua orang busy sekarang ni haha dan mungkin terlalu banyak sangat benda nak story sampai malas nak story. Ehh macam mana tu ?

Okay, basically. Nothing change much since the last update. Cuma many things had happen. Gradually. Nak start dari mana pun tak tahu. Too much. Seriously tak ingat the kronologi. Perginya insan yang disayangi ramai pada 30 April 2013, opah tercinta. Semoga rohnyaa ditempatkan dikalangan  yang beriman. Amin. 

Begitu juga the General Election yang penuh kontrovesi. Well, I don't have much to say about GE, we all had grown big enough to think whick the best.

And kepada kalian-kalian semua. Takperlulah nak menyakiti sesama sendiri. Kita hidup sebagai manusia, makan tidur belajar sama-sama. Takperlu nak iri hati atau berdendam disebabkan benda sekecil zarah. Perjuangan dipikul bersama, bukan perjuangan yang mempunyai kasta. I know what type you are. Never lose of what you said, people must follow what you said. Well, seems the praised you very much. But soory, not me. I'll live the way I want it to be. Not by following what you want me to be. 

I'll Fight against you.

And last, terima kasih kerana masih bersama-sama. Cuma, mungkin ini bukan masa yang sesuai untuk membincangkan segalanya. You have your everything. While me, only have you. A drastically changes. Sometimes, I feel that hmm I'm not that important to you anymore. Compare to those day. Surprisingly,  you can live without me.  I'll adapt to it soon.

Never regret the past.

Never ever regret the changes I've been through, just to make me who I am.

And to be fine.

TUHAN MAHA ADIL

Assalamualaikum wbt,

" Allah tidak akam membebani hambanya melainkan dengan kesanggupannya. " ( 2 : 286 )

Alhamdulillah. Masih dipanjangkan umur dimurahkan rezeki untuk melihat dunia. 

Hampir putus harapan, untuk hidup.

Mencari apakan sebenarnya tujuan hidup.

Dimana hala tuju sebenar.

Hidup penuh dugaan, tanpa henti.

Menjalani hidup dengan berbagai-bagai ragam manusia.

Yang terlalu baik, sentiasa bersama.

Namun, jauh di mata.

Yang terlalu jahat, juga sentiasa bersama.

Sayangnya, terlalu dekat di mata.

Betapa busuknya hati manusia.

Sanggup berbuat apa sahaja, 

Untuk, melihat kejatuhan orang lain.

At least, memuaskan hati mereka.

Haha, puaskahh begitu ?

Hati selalu bertanya. 

Kenapakah dilahirkan dalam keadaan begini?

Bahagia hanya sekadar menutup kesengsaraan.

Dusta belaka !

Itulahh yang di alami, selama hidup didunia.

Kebahagiaan duniawi menjadi pertaruhan.

Sedangkan, kebahagiaan akhirat diabaikan.

Hmm, hidup mesti diteruskan.

InsyaAllah.

" Ya Allah, hanya padamu aku berserah. "

Untitled.

Assalamualaikum wbt,

" Janganlah kamu bersedih hati. Sesungguhnya Allah ada bersama kita”  ( 9 : 40 )

SO, THIS IS IT.

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Firstly, I felt so DUMB !!! Know why ? Haha trusting people that you think will never ever fool you, at least along the relationship. Seriously, shocked for the moment. Haha sumpah taktau nak cakap apa. One by one revealed. Of course I'm not ready yet for this shit things. But , what can I do ? The truth exposed, time wouldn't reverse back. 

Well, re-flashback what I'm been through with you so far. I'm proud actually. No one could stand, well, almost year with you. But I do. You praise me, because I'm the only one that could understand you, patience with you and bla bla bla.. We set our own rules, just to ensure none of us cheat. That's along long way ago.

But now, still the same, but you BROKE the RULES !!! I didn't have to mention one by one. Starting from this, until today, haha I just knew about it. 9 months you been hiding from me. It HURT ME A LOT !! A LOT ! Well, you'll never ever turn back the time. 

One question, when you doing all shit things, where am I in your heart ?

OUR ANNIVERSARY :)))

Assalamualakum wbt,

Seminggu kelas dah bermula. Malas malas malas. And result pun dah keluar. Alhamdulillah lulus. At least. Ingat senang nak score dalam medic ni. Belajar bagai nak gila. Suppose I shuold write this entry last week. But it seems so busy lately. Sementara memory masih segar, baik muntahkan dulu dalam ni.

So cuti semester 3 minggu is nothing much excitement kecuali minggu terakhir hehe. During 1st day CNY, seperti biasa, pergi rumah Popo@Nenek kutip angpau then pergi rumah Aunty kat Kl kutip angpau lagi dan yang best, makan Yee Sang. Eh sumpah sedap Yee Sang tu. Did I spell it right ? My Aunty just use green apple, some keropok warna hijau and merah, biji bijan then some salad and secret ingredients, taktau macam mana nak describe. The sauce a bit sweet and sour. But it taste really good.

And on the evening, hewhew. Bertemu dengan kekasih yang sekian lama terpisah. Fetch him kat bus10, then pergi makan kat Port Klang nasi ayam. That night, a bit stress bila kena kemas baju all of us, make sure there's no thing yang tertinggal. Tidur pun terlalu lewat.

The next morning, kelam kabut pergi bus10 sebab the bus almost nak jalan dah. Tak sempat nak salam papa pun. And our journey began. Sepanjang perjalanan, I had tracel sickness. Nak ambil travel pil, kesian kat sayang seeorang ni nanti takda siapa teman. So just pretending fine. Sampai je kat Butterworth, terus naik feri then terus pergi 1st hotel. Well, actually date yang kiorang pergi penang kebetulan sama dengan date PSY turun Penang. Awesome kan ? But bila sesampai je kat Penang, PSY pun dah balik dahh.

1st impression, cantik juga hotel ni walaupun 3star. Sangat strategik even bukan near Komtar. Dah checkin, rehat-rehat sekejap then cari kedai makan. Betul-betul bawah hotel cross the road ada kedai sup nama Sup Hamid. Okay superb sedap kedai ni walaupun keadaan kedai tak seberapa. Then jalan2 area the town and sempat beli baju mama. The night, makan kat Nasi Kandar Line Clear. Memang tak rugi pun kalau makan. And the price pun sangat lahh berbaloi.

Esok pagi, bangun pergi breakfast then basah-basahkan badan mandi kolam renang. Pastu siap2 kemas barang check out and check in to another hotel yang jauh ke dalam. Well, jalan ke hotel kedua , is actually the road ke Bukit Bendera and Kek Lok Si Temple. So memang confirm2 jam. Dah check in, terus kluar balik pergi Gurney. So sad, takdapat pun makan kat tepi-tepi tu waktu malam. Sebab hari pun macam nak hujan. And malam, ' WE ' had a really really good time. And tertidur sambil tv terbuka.

The next day, huhu sebak sikit. Nak balik dahh. Tapi sempat singgah swimming pool dulu hehe nak bermanja-manja. Otw balik, sangat penat. Tapi memuaskan.  Tak sangka bas boleh delay sampai 2 jam. Swear takkan naik bas tu dahh. Malam sampai rumah dalam 1 pagi mcm tu.

Haha Batakk gila dengan makanan !!

Akhirnyaaa, jumpa juga cincin !

Inilahh cupcakes yang dikatakan. Comelkan ? Serious sedap and I was addicted to it.

Next day, hehe shopping time. Ni lahh baru masa yang sesuai untuk shopping. Mula2 pergi the curve makan kat Garden Lifestyle Cafe, then pergi beli cupcakes. Haha sanggup pergi ambik teksi tau pergi beli cupcakes semata-mata. Dah lah RM70 for 36 pieces saja. Small Cupcakes okayy. Then pergi Jalan Tar shopping tudung then baru pergi Timesquare jalan-jalan cari cincin dan beli bear. Tapi cincin keesokan harinya baru jumpa.  Overall, most memorable holiday :)

Happy 1st Year Anniversary My Dear,

MOGA DISEGERAKAN BALASAN YANG SETIMPAL

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Final exam dah dekat. Pecah kepala nak ingat bait-bait nota. Alhamdulillah segala rancangan ke Penang nanti telah selesai. Moga Allah permudahkan jalan kami nanti, Amin.

Dah lama taktulis blog. Mungkin sebab masa, inipati blog. I'll write what I want to say, today. Sudah lama cukup bersabar. Mata hanya dipejamkan sebelah mata melihatkan perilaku BIADAP. Hati tidak henti MENCERCA dan MENGHINA perempuan sialan tu. Entah sampai bila lagi akan menghadap dosa-dosa Si Sialan tu terhadap semua.

KAU, Sialan, sudah cukup semuanya. Harta, keluarga, pekerjaan, memang serba serbi lengkap. Tapi Sialan, kau kurang satu.  ADAB. Yea , Adab lahh yang mencerminkan diri kita. Hilanglahh segala kehormatan kau kalau tak ada Adab. The problems is, Si Sialan ni memang tak beradab lagi dari kecil. 

Just look the way how you threat you own mother ?! Haha Kalau your mother IN LAW, bukan main lagi berpeluk kasih sayang. Takperlu hipokrit semata-mata nak tunjuk OHH kau layak menjaga anak dia. Haha pergi mampus lahh cinta kau tu. Tak bermakna apa-apa kalau semua berlandaskan NAFSU. Dah pandai buat anak, kau lepas tanggungjawab macam tu je. AND look how the way you threat other people. SANGAT BIADAP ! I really wish that your children akan balas SETERUKNYA at least bila kau dah tua. And one more thing, I really think that Si Sialan tu ada mental illness sebab banyak symptom yang telah ditunjukkan.

Just hope, really really hope that Si Sialan akan menerima balasan, haraplahh secepat yang mungkin, some kind of accident ke, at least biar lumpuh so tak perlu tengok lagi PENGHINAAN yang KAU lakukan !!


** Takpernah ada manusia seSIALAN kau !

DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE HURT LIKE THIS

" tak sangka kecewa sebegini "

THE STORY ALWAYS END UP THIS WAY

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Lama tak update. Since when? Hmm entahlahh. Terlalu banyak sangat cerita sampai taktahu macam mana nak menulis. Haha pelik. Tak tahu where should I start, how the flow of the story, and how the story gonna end. But hari ni, mungkin berbeza.

Try to keep myself for not to think too much. It's really distract my day. Well, it just a day. Just a date. Nothing special. Tapi bila di ingatkan kembali how you were so struggle to get me, haha it really doesn't make sense now. A year had really brought differences to us.

It all started past few months ago. When I started to be so busy until our routine schedule disrupt. Struggling to cope with new education, new ways of studies, to achieve better understanding, is not an easy way in medic. Quarreling most of the time. And you, patiently wait for me. 

Few weeks ago, when I'm off my study, hols for 3 weeks, it seems that nothing gonna change what had been changed. We seems to stick to newly schedule where there aren't time for both of us. Now is your turn who tend to be soo busy. And I, patiently wait for you. Just like my friend. Penantian penuh penyeksaan yang berakhir dengan perpisahan.

Up to a point, where you're too busy, finishing your project, and forgetting 1 important thing. You know, I'll try to settle down all my works by night just to have a nice, sweet time with you. How hard I try to create such message within 3 minutes. And you, hmm no effort. 

Realizing how time had brought us to this situation that last few moments. 

Trying my best, not to give up.

Time change, people change.

Love do change as well.

" Don't keep trying to hold on to someone that doesn't want to be held."

ENTAH KE BERAPA KALI

Assalamualaikum wbt,

I wish I could see you now,

to solved all our problems .

It seems to be worst each day.

With more problems adding.

Every time , every second, 

You make me realize that I'm not good enough for you. 

It's only how the way I treating you.

I know, even myself get worst.

And , every time too, 

It keeps reminding me that you should just leave me.

But you know I wouldn't let you go.

It seems that my battery is gonna to die soon.

Every words that you said just make me realize who I am. 

NEVER BEEN ENOUGH

Assalamualaikum wbt,

When couples quarrel everyday, they seems to had problems.

Either they're not meant to be together, 

Or thats the way they express their love.

I started to realize so many thing. 

About you, me and us.

Is this the best pathway of our life ?

The only way to reveal the problems, 

One of us have to just kept quite, 

Accepting of what had happened.

And move on with life.

But that way of solving problems is unfair !

Too many problems bring me here,

to say :

I just can't be too perfect to you.

this love had changed me to a level, 

even myself won't recognize it. 

Seriously, I'm not the person you should fall in love into.

Everyday preparing yourself with any possibility.

That I might gone mad or scold you.

You shouldn't be treated that way.

Waiting for me whole night long, 

At the end, just a heartbreak.

You deserve much more better than this.

Really you deserve much more better that this.

Search people that can treat you as a lover.

Not as a slave, or hater.

I'm sorry my dear.


*Song of blog : Anuar Zain - Hanya Milikmu

PART A PHASE I EXAM

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Nampaknya, lagi 1 and half day tinggal. 1 week Nak cover apa yang telah belajar for 5 month, haha impossible. Unless memang sangat rajin, otak berjalan even tengah tidur and tak cepat putus asa ! 

Bila review balik apa yang telah dilakukan selama seminggu yang lalu, hmm okaylahh. Itu je yang termampu buat masa ini. Cukuplah tekanan sana sini, tak henti-henti. But I'm proud to myself, sebab even ada masalah yang sebesar-besar yang uji pun, I still manage to study, even though taklahh se-effective mana compare to study smart. 

Bila kira balik lah my total study time, haha agak lawak sikit. Sebab sekejap-sekejap balik rumah, then balik kolej balik. But I wont went back home dahh , cukuplah beberapa hari balik. Kena guna masa sebetulnya memandangkan ada lagi 40% yang takhabis study. Banyakkan.

Okay okay, Kalau kat rumah ,bila di kira, bangun pagi pukul 6am paling lambat 6.30. Dah solat terus study, haha amazed tak ? Study punya study sampai pukul 11 am mcm tu. Then menyiapkan diri makan rehat solat, pukul 2pm sambung till 6pm, " kadang-kadang" hehe. And malam usually start pukul 9pm till 12am maybe. 

Total study time bila kat rumah = 4 + 4 + 3 = 11 jam.

Tapi lain pula cerita nya bila kat kolej. Misalnya that day during Conass week. Bangun pukul 6am. Then study sampai 10am then mandi. After that sambung study till 1pm. I really skip my lunch !! Then after Zohor sambung till 5pm macam tu, then I stop. Boleh bayangkan how big my brain expand ? And malam dalam 7.30pm after maghrib sambung study samapi lahh 12am. 

Total study time kat kolej = 6 + 3 + 5 = 14jam

Haha time sekolah menengah dulu bukan main lagi galakkan study 4 jam. 4 jam tu pun dah rasa too longgg. Tapi medic, haha 14 jam pun tak cukup lagi. 

Akhir kata, doakan kejayaan for final exam nanti. Moga dipermudahkan segala urusan. Harap segala usaha mendatangkan hasil. Hanya mampu tawakal kepada Allah S.W.T .

InsyaAllah.

UNTITLED V

Kadang-kadang, pilihan terbaik bukanlah penjamin kesempurnaan hidup. 

Mungkin ini bukan pilihan yang terbaik.

I'LL USED TO IT :)

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Susah sebenarnya nak cari masa sesuai to post new entry. A lot of things to write, but the time seems tak berapa sesuai. And hati pun tak terasa nak share apa-apa. Banyak yang disimpan, tanam entah bertumbuh cabang di mana, tapi akhirnya mati juga begitu saja haha apa merepek lebih-lebih hadoii.

So hari ni, New Year. Yang orang begitu teruja sekali nak sambut. Siap buat konsert sana-sini. Bunga api takpayah cakaplahh. Depan rumah je dia pasang. Tapi nasib lahh dorang tu non-muslim. Yang takfaham nya, kenapa kita umat Islam agungkan sangat nak tunggu tahun baru yang bukan mengikut kalendar Islam ? Padahal kita sepatutnya setia mengagungkan kalendar agama sendiri.

Cuba ingat balik time Awal Muharam yang dulu. Berapa ramai yang ingat tarikh Awal Muharam ? Berapa ramai yang sempat baca doa akhir tahun dan doa awal tahun ? Tapi bila tahun masihi, siap attend the concert lahh, siap buat resolusi lahh. Bangga sangat ke ?

Bukan nak kata apa, sistem kalendar negara memang menggunakan sistem kalendar masihi, tapi kita sebagai umat Islam kenalahh ambil inisiatif sendiri untuk membangunkan balik kesedaran kalendar hijrah. Sentiasa ambil perkembangan. Tak semua melayu, adalah Islam kan ? 

** Terima kasih kerana mengajar erti penantian dan kesabaran yang menyeksakan.
I'm trying my best not to be DEPENDENT.
People may change a lot by one caused.


When people change, nothing else mattes.


I'll used to it, soon .