never care about this before. now, everything change.

okay, week 2 is over . here comes week 3. well, some of the resolution in week 2 had been done so well, but not all. about the test, english presentation. alhamdulillah i manage to settle by that week. so in this week 3, what i hope is

• study well in physics test, this time, no marks below 5.
• still trying not stalking his FB. seriously it hurt me much.
• settle all the tutorial by thursday, otherwise, not CNY hols.

*so semalam the whole day and night hang out bersama rakan. dan menghabiskan voucher buku yang kerajaan bagi. itu pun baru rm50 saja. tak decide nak beli apa lagi selain dari stationary. i've been came across this question " kenapa cha tak balik rumah ? " by one of my friend bila keluar semalam. haha okay melissa mokhtar tak balik rumah setiap hujung minggu ? memang harapan laa. yup, memang diakui pun tiap-tiap weekend balik. 

well, it take me a period of time to digest this quest. sebenarnya tak laa pelik mana tak balik rumah pun. entah laa. actually it had been abput 3 week tak balik. selalunya , not selalunya . jarang laa kalau 2 minggu pun at least ada la balik. and kawan added ," cha merajuk ke , bawa lari ea ? " haha memang funny persoalan tu. tapi bila fikir balik. it really make sense. 

entahlaa, balik rumah nak study, memang mimpi laa. that one reason. and another thing, balik rumah , bergaduh. serius sedih gilaa ingatkan jarang-jarang jumpa at least ada laa tunjuk penghargaan or at least layan dengan sempurna. tapi balasan, perbalahan. runtuh hati . 

well, siapa yang minta benda macam ni nak happen. benda dah tak boleh avoid, so must face it. i dont know. macam tawar hati , tapi they still my family. a part of my life. sebak bila setiap kali dapat call dari parent, especially bila mama call. " cha bila nak balik, mama rindu chacha. mama selalu ulang ayat sama. padahal tak laa jauh mana pun klang kl. papa selalu call tanya tak balik ke minggu ni. omg bersalahnya dekat dorang. 

this thing hurt me more when i think about them. menunggu bila anak diaorang yang seorang nak balik rumah. rindu yang bertimbun-timbun since last 3 week dah tak mampu nak tanggung. i'm still the old me. nothing changes. i just need more time for me, and myself. btw, sangat terharu bila papa concern about me, sanggup suruh koko hantar limau mandarin kepada anaknya yang tengah kempunan. terima kasih papa.  

" YA ALLAH, ampunilah hambamu ini . "